This week during our recording session for The Kamiwaza Podcast we talked about finding balance. Now in the episode, the main focus was on “work/life balance” but overall the discussion was on balance overall in life.
This is an area a lot of people just don’t consider. We tend to be very much one way or the other and afraid to compromise or adapt.
No matter what we are talking about, you can generally find extremes.
Politics: Right vs Left
Self Defense: firearms vs unarmed vs traditional vs “combat” vs pacifism
Parenting: coddling vs stern or organic vs… well not organic
Health: prescriptions vs alternative medicine
We could go on forever identifying these, but two things are important to know
- What works for you (us) right now most likely isn’t what is going to work for us in the future. And what worked in the past most likely isn’t what is needed today. The circumstances are always changing, so we need to understand that so should our approach and our views.
- By not being willing to adapt we limit our ability to learn. I only know what I know right now and I can’t possibly know what I don’t know.
Finding “balance” in life isn’t about setting the rules and sticking to them. It’s about analyzing the circumstances and finding what works best for you right now.
Just the other day I posted about a comment made on one of my events pages for an active shooter seminar that read “If you’re that concerned about it, buy a gun.” I posted my answer to the comment which essentially broke down the fact that though a gun may be useful, it is a very small part of the entire picture. That said, this is a perfect example of finding balance.
If my view point is so far one direction, that I am not able to see the other side, I will limit myself. If I have decided that this one answer is all there is, I am killing my potential.
That said, having focus also matters. As does setting principles and sticking to them. One of the messages I talk about in my seminars is the idea of constantly asking “What makes sense NOW?”
This changes second by second. One second you might need to run. Ten seconds later you might need to give medical care. 2 minutes later you’re making a 9-1-1 call. A minute from then you’re beginning to barricade. 10 minutes later the gunman gets through your barricade and you find yourself fighting. Etc…
There’s no one answer, you just continually assess.. what makes sense now?
Expand that out into life.
I want to build a business. I am single. No kids.
In that case, your “work/life” balance might be a lot heavier towards work. You have the time and solidarity.
A year later you meet someone and want to spend more time with them and nurture the relationship. Well that 80 hours a week might need to cut down a bit. Now being away causes stress, that stress is a sign of imbalance.
Three years later you are having twins, maybe you need to stockpile some money, you swing more towards work for a bit.
Then the children are born. The scale slides back towards life.
It’s ever changing. “Balance” isn’t a set number. It’s constantly asking yourself “what makes sense now” and adapting accordingly.
This applies to everything.
“I want to get my masters” well guess what, that’s going to require time and attention, so you have to slide the scale that way, but if that’s what matters right now, then we do it. When it no longer makes sense or we accomplish that goal, we slide back.
“I want to protect my family” … you need to slide your scale towards the physical and psychological skills that go into that.
When you feel you’re not making progress in a situation/relationship, feel stressed, or the proverbial weight of the world on your shoulders… analyze your circumstances.
What makes sense now?
Are you out of balance?
Where can you start to slide the scale to find that balance?
Be good, train hard, stay safe.
-aaron
Aaron Jannetti 