What DO you want?

A big part of creating space between stimulus and response is building an awareness of how we focus our attention.

When we talk about the negative, it brings our focus on the exact thing we’re attempting to avoid.

Negation setup words like:

They prime us to focus on that thing. “I just don’t want to be a bad coach.” This sentence brings our focus to being a bad coach. So if you DON’T want to be a bad coach, what DO you want? “I want to be a good coach.” Ok, what makes a good coach? “Connection. Communication. Education.” Perfect, so focus on improving connection, communication, and education.

This focus works outwardly as well. As a coach have you ever used negation to correct a student? “Don’t blade your stance!” “Don’t just stand there!” “Don’t give up!” “You can’t live your life in fear.” Instead of bringing their focus to what you want them to avoid, try focusing on what you want them to do. Even better – why it’s important.” “Widen your stance. Stay square so you have better balance.” “Keep moving so you can create opportunity.” “One step at a time. You’re at a moment if growth!” “You can live a life of strength, confidence, and joy because you’re in control.” Negations are thieves that steal focus, restrict opportunity, and clutter communication.

When you coach class, lead your staff, or talk with your family, take note of your use of negation.

Take a moment. Think.

Reframe your sentence and focus on what you DO want.

The results are incredible.

Go forth and be awesome!

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