Much of our fear stems from ‘the unknown’.
Because we fear it, we continue to avoid it.
Because we avoid it, we continue to fear it.
It can become a vicious cycle.
In my experience, meaningful exposure goes a long way in building confidence in our lives.
And quite often, we realize that our imagination made things seem way worse than in reality.
We often do this with serious matters or concerns.
“I couldn’t possibly defend myself. I’m too small/weak/scared.”
With big life decisions.
“I’m so stressed out and miserable, but if I leave my job, I’ll never make it.”
In general communication.
“I’m afraid if I tell them, they’ll get mad.”
And all over.
When we avoid the situation, we create a habit of fostering that fear or discomfort.
In all of these scenarios, we can choose to continue to wonder, and imagine, and live in that fear.
Or we can choose to explore that fear.
What do I know about my ability to defend myself? Have you trained? Can you begin to train? Can you increase your ability to defend yourself? Are you willing to defend yourself and loved ones?
What’s the worst thing that can happen if you left your job? Honestly. Answer that. What would you do? Where could you find work? Where could you cut expenses? Is happiness with sacrificing?
What happens if you don’t tell them? How do you feel holding back? What’s the worst that could happen if they do get mad? If they get mad, should you really care? Are you in control of their reactions?
The best way to know, is to explore.
So, when you feel resistance. Fear. Discomfort. Ask yourself…
What is driving this fear?
What do I ‘know’ and what am I ‘imagining’ or ‘assuming?’
Do I know this to be completely true?
Ask yourself “what can I learn and explore to prepare myself for this?
Aaron Jannetti 