The types of words we use make an impact, and so does where we direct those words.
As humans we tend to avoid uncomfortable situations.
When we have an issue that we desire to be resolved, generally the best person to communicate with, is the person involved.
Yet, we tend to talk to others about our situations.
It’s generally easier to vent or gossip to friends that will likely support our biased observation of the situation, then it is to discuss directly with the person we have the issue with.
It’s understandable to give ourselves time to navigate emotions, or settle internal dialogue.
It’s also completely understandable to find a trusted source to discuss things with, and get an unbiased view, to help us achieve a higher level of clarity before facing the problem directly.
However, that is rarely why we talk to others, and rarely what we receive.
True friends will call us on our bullshit, and help us resolve situations, just as much as they’ll support us…But that’s a topic for another day 😎
More commonly, we talk to someone that will agree with us, which further supports our current emotional state (whether it’s warranted or not), and drives a wedge further between us, and the source of the issues.
Inevitably, we kill our own happiness by creating a more uncomfortable situation for ourselves, and others, because we’d rather trade an actual resolution with a possibly uncomfortable conversation, for short term validation.
Next time you’re faced with a difficult situation, ask yourself a few basic questions:
Who do I need to communicate with to resolve this issue? Am I in a stable state to have that conversation?
Who can I talk to that will hear me openly, and give an honest assessment and support of the situation?
What do I need to do to have this conversation openly, directly, and with a open mind?
Communication is often the key to happiness, or misery. It’s up to us to make those choices.
Go forth and be awesome! 😎
Aaron Jannetti 